Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
