I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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