Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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