..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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