is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
