I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize