I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
