This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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