Kareoke will never be a sober sport
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
