Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
