That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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