we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
