Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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