Duck Duck Cougar?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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