My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
