Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize