why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
