Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
