Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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