why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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