i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
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he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
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It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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