remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
