Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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