This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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