haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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