20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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