Someone shit on the floor
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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