if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I think I sprained my soul last night
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
