i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
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