you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
