I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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