**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
