best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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