There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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