Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
