Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
