singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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