just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
