She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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