If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
