he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
