due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
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If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
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Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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