Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
