I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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