he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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