entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
