Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I just want to make out with him forever
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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