And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize