I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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