why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
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