On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
