chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
