he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
