her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
