If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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