You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
