Can Purell be used as lube?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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