Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
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And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
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17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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