So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
