he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
