Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
