Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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