He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
it's like heaven, but drunker
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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