omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
