It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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