He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
