In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
