It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I can't put those talents on a resume
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
