Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm passing your future prison.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
