He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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